self-reflection
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Why I Listen to Sad Music
Sad music doesn’t make me sad. It lets me feel without running.
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When Helplessness Is the Hardest Work
Relational helplessness is the ache of restraint, regulating alone, holding back care, and learning too late how to be present.
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I Don’t Remember What a Good Night’s Sleep Feels Like
Every night downstairs is a reminder that I need to remember rest is not something I have to endure alone.
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When the Body Knew Before the Year Did
In the throes of New Year’s Eve anxiety, old wounds resurface, leaving my heart yearning for love that eludes even its gentle embrace.
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Everything Will Be Okay – Loving Without Hope in the In-Between
Living in the suspended is a paradox of deep love and incomplete understanding. It’s about holding on without losing oneself.
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Becoming the Father I Wish I Still Had
The absence of a father’s steady presence can feel like a quiet, disorienting gap.
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The Urge to Be Seen vs. the Discipline to Not Require It
Heartbreak stems from the desire for love’s acknowledgment, while quiet love exists without needing recognition.
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When a Duet Broke
I miss days of solo mistakes and, even more, duet mistakes.
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The Space Between Bow and String
There is a moment before sound. A quiet tension where something could happen, but hasn’t yet.
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Holding The Note
Loving someone while nothing is settled can be exhausting.
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Reflecting on What Do I Really Want?
A simple question from a friend stopped me: What does Noah want?
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Why a Violin and a Heart
The intertwined violin and heart are a small map of how I’m trying to live.